The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
\nwill be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
\nother possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government
\nconceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
\naccepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as „EuroEnglish”:
\n<\/p>\n
In the first year, „s” will replace the soft „c”… Sertainly, this will
\nmake the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard „c” will be dropped in
\nfavor of the „k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1
\nless letter.<\/p>\n
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
\ntroublesome „ph” will be replaced with the „f”. This will make words like
\n„fotograf” 20% shorter.<\/p>\n
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
\nreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
\nwill enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
\ndeterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
\nsilent „e”’s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.<\/p>\n
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing „th” with
\n„z” and „w” with „v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary „o” kan be dropd
\nfrom vords kontaiining „ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
\nozer kombinations of leters.<\/p>\n
After ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
\ntrubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.<\/p>\n
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be…<\/p>\n